


i need you to stay

by modernpatroclus



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Threats of Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 14:23:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7805212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modernpatroclus/pseuds/modernpatroclus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: andreil and the first time they have a real hug?? like body crushing passionate huge</p>
            </blockquote>





	i need you to stay

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the run and go by twenty one pilots

Neil couldn’t shake the feeling of Lola’s calloused hands on his body, her raspy whispers in his ear. _“You could almost be my type,”_ was the mantra to his latest nightmare. Every night, Neil’s sleep would take him from Andrew’s bed in Columbia back to the trunk of that car on its way to Baltimore. And every night, she followed through on her threats.

Every time he had that dream, Neil woke in a cold sweat. He’d slip out of the house silently and run until his legs were close to giving out.

A month into summer break, with the trials for his father’s men and Drake’s murder looming in the near future, sleep was quickly becoming something Neil dreaded. He’d started pretending to go to sleep long enough for everyone else to empty out of the living room and Andrew to fall asleep next to him. When he was sure Andrew was in deep enough not to wake, Neil would slip out and run in the dark, until the sun started to rise and he was too exhausted to dream.

This pattern continued for weeks without even Andrew noticing. Years of living like a ghost aided his nightly escapes that he returned from a couple hours before Andrew woke up. But Andrew was as light a sleeper as Neil, so when a drunk Kevin fell off the couch one night, Andrew woke to an empty bed.

Andrew felt sheer panic for a paralyzing moment, that wasn’t tempered at all by the sight of Neil’s phone charging on the nightstand. He still didn’t use it often, but he’d promised Andrew he would carry it with him. And the only other time Neil left it behind was Baltimore.

Neil’s side of the bed was cold, and when Andrew looked out the window, the sun was just starting to rise. He looked in the other rooms Neil would possibly be, but Andrew already knew he wouldn’t find Neil.

Andrew had gone to bed early that night. With Aaron visiting Katelyn’s family and Nicky visiting Erik in Germany, Andrew was taking advantage of having only Kevin and Neil to look after. He’d been letting Neil look after Kevin at night, who’d been hitting the vodka early after hearing about Riko’s death a month before.

Neil had been insistent on Andrew not needing to watch over Kevin every night; Neil could handle it. At first, Andrew had assumed it was because Neil wanted to let Kevin misguidedly grieve without Andrew there to snipe about how utterly ridiculous it was for him to be upset over Riko. But Andrew should’ve known better than to trust the runner.

He knew Neil was stressed over the upcoming trials they were both going to be in. He knew Neil was still having nightmares from his time in Baltimore. But Andrew still trusted him to stop running.

Clearly, it was a mistake.

The clock on his phone said it was nearly seven by now. He’d been sitting here too long after finding out Neil wasn’t there.

He only rode through the neighborhood once; with how long Neil had clearly been gone, it wasn’t likely he’d hung around in the immediate area. He didn’t think Neil tried to leave permanently, but he knew Neil’s knee-jerk reaction to stress was to try to outrun it. With everything he’d been dealing with, Andrew knew Neil probably ran pretty far.

-

Neil didn’t know how long he’d been running when he finally dug his heels into pavement and forced his body to stop. The sky was dark when he left, probably around 1am. Now, it was past sunrise.

While he tried to catch his breath and bring feeling back to his numb legs, he looked around and realized he had no idea where he was. He reached into his pocket and felt for his phone, but he hadn’t even grabbed it before he left. It had been in the charger in Andrew’s room, and Neil hadn’t wanted to risk waking him to get it. He’d stupidly gone without it, not planning on being gone so long. But somewhere between Nicky’s parents’ house and the assault of memories of both Drake and Lola, Neil stopped thinking and kept running.

He knew Andrew would be pissed. He’d made Neil promise he would always bring his phone, even if he didn’t plan on using it in an emergency. And Neil broke that promise. Neil also promised he would stop running. And even though he hadn’t intended to, Neil broke that promise, too.

He didn’t know where he was, or how long he had until Andrew woke up if he hadn’t already. He had been running on the side of the highway, and only when he backtracked and saw a sign did he realize he’d been unconsciously heading in the direction of Palmetto.

Neil breathed out in relief. He wasn’t lost, and he wouldn’t be hard to find if Andrew came looking. He’d hitchhiked this route before, and even if it was only to give him hell, Neil was pretty sure Andrew would go after him. He didn’t have reason to believe Neil was trying to permanently bolt, which was the only circumstance Neil was sure Andrew wouldn’t go after him. If Neil wanted to leave, Andrew wouldn’t beg.

But Neil hadn’t been trying to run away this time. He’d only been trying to clear his head.

-

Andrew searched for two hours. Despite Neil’s head start, Andrew found him fairly easily. He was a lone figure stupidly running along the side of the highway in the direction of campus.

Andrew pulled over and got out without Neil noticing him as he kept jogging towards him. Andrew made a mental note to yell at the idiot for his lack of observational skills later.

Neil finally noticed Andrew when he was about ten feet away. Neil’s face broke out into a look of relief and, though he was drenched in sweat, he picked up and ran the rest of the gap between them.

Neil threw his arms around Andrew, who stumbled backwards and grunted when Neil collided with him full-force. For a second, all he did was stand frozen in Neil’s grip. But when Neil shuddered out an, “I’m sorry,” Andrew pulled Neil into him.

Andrew didn’t know how long they stood like that – on the side of the highway, Neil shaking from exhaustion and relief, Andrew a solid wall of support, fingers clutching clothing and arms vicelike around each other. But Andrew pulled away first, and he hid all other emotion away to glare at Neil.

“What the fuck, Josten?”

Without letting Neil answer, Andrew dragged him by the arm toward the car. When they were both in the Maserati, Andrew punched Neil on the arm. “How long have you been pulling this shit?”

Neil rubbed his arm and affected confusion. “What shit, exactly?”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Going out and running after Kevin passes out, instead of going the fuck to sleep like a normal person.”

“A few weeks?”

Andrew scoffed. “Basically the whole time, you mean.”

Neil winced. “Yeah. But in my defense,” Neil said, putting up one finger, “I’m not a normal person.” Andrew rolled his eyes again but didn’t say anything. “ _And_ I’ve made sure Kevin’s blacked out before I leave.”

“Why?”

Neil knew Andrew wasn’t asking about Kevin. He chose his words carefully, not wanting to upset Andrew further. “I can’t get rid of the nightmares, Andrew. Every time I fall asleep, I’m back in that car. And being in Columbia is… I don’t know, giving me ideas.”

Andrew looked confused at that. “What are you talking about?”

Neil sighed. “When I was in the trunk, Lola made comments about how much I looked like my dad. And she hinted that they’d slept together.” Andrew didn’t look surprised at that. When he didn’t interrupt, Neil kept explaining. “She kept grinding on me, and because it was such a small space, I couldn’t go anywhere.”

Andrew’s jaw clenched and he looked ready to punch something. Neil put a hand on Andrew’s arm but looked out the window, avoiding Andrew’s eyes. “Being here reminds me of what happened with Drake. And when I sleep, I keep imagining things that never happened.” Neil went quiet after that. It didn’t matter; Andrew knew exactly what he meant.

Andrew’s voice was deadly calm when he spoke. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Neil still wouldn’t look at him when he answered. “Because things are finally okay for now. And you needed to get away. I didn’t want to make you stay at Abby’s with me.”

Andrew roughly grabbed Neil’s chin, making him look at him. “You’re an idiot. It doesn’t matter where we stay. If you can’t be here, you can’t be here. I know your issues with feeling trapped. I wouldn’t try to make you stay somewhere you don’t want to be.” He released his hold on Neil’s face, but not his stare. “Next time, tell me.”

Neil searched Andrew’s eyes, and when he realized Andrew was only angry with Neil for hiding things and not for running, he nodded. “Thank you.”

Andrew watched Neil for another moment, then started the car. He said, “We have to go back and make sure Kevin hasn’t drowned in his own vomit first.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr post](http://secretgvrdens.tumblr.com/post/149134304837/andreil-and-the-first-time-they-have-a-real-hug)


End file.
